Something to Talk About

Ok, ladies, this one is mostly for you. Although I'd welcome some feedback from the men...

Let's talk about oral sex. But let's be clear... when I say "oral" I'm referring to the spoken word. Or, in some cases, the texted word.

Now, I know that this sort of sexual experience might seem awkward at first, but let me say that it can help to tide things over across the miles. If you've ever had to be apart from your significant other for any length of time, you probably know what I'm talking about. You still long to share those intimate moments, but how? You're nowhere near each other... and maybe you won't be for several weeks or months... What then? Something has to keep the love and the passion burning.

Maybe phone sex is just what you need!

"But I'm too nervous to talk about that... And what would I say anyway???"

First, let me say that I don't claim to be an expert on phone sex. But I have found that, with the right partner, I really enjoy it. And that has made all the difference. If you're not having any fun, then why are you doing it?

So, in my efforts to share what I've learned, let me give you a few notes:

1. You need to know what you like and own it.
   
2. Since you can't be there to do things to each other in person, you have to be able to describe in detail what you would be doing... And believe me, the details matter!
   
3. Be creative but be you. Talk about things that you would really do and really want.
   
4. And finally... you should BOTH be touching yourselves while you talk. This is a shared sexual experience. So share it!

For the Men...

For most of you this will come as no surprise, but a woman takes a little longer to warm up than you do... She needs to be gently caressed and romanced into action. A woman needs to be seduced. Foreplay is everything. And simply taking off your clothes - no matter how provocatively - doesn't count. Nor does asking her if she wants to f*@k. You can do better!

Foreplay can begin at dinner, or in the car, or walking down the street together. It can start with a breathy kiss on her neck, a caress along her arm, or a longing look across the table... Foreplay can be anything. But you need to know your lady if you have any hope of finding what works for her. And if you don't know - ASK her! If she knows herself at all, which you definitely want!, she'll know what she likes.

In your efforts, please keep in mind a few important tips.

• You should always treat her with respect. Even if she wants you to talk dirty to her while you pull her hair... Don't be disrespectful or rude.
  
• Your lady should always feel like she is the only woman for you. Make her feel special and wanted. And she should do the same for you!
• Good sex is as mental or emotional as it is physical for most of us of the fairer sex... If your lady is in a good place mentally and emotionally, then she's more likely to be in a good place sexually.
• This should come as no surprise, but... If you are focused on satisfying your lady, you will ALWAYS be satisfied.
  

And finally, love is a two-way street. You should be equal partners - both of you 100% committed to the happiness of the other. And even in the most perfect partnerships, a relationship takes work. You have to keep talking to each other! If you have a disagreement or a problem, then talk about it. Don't let something fester... get it out, figure it out, and move forward together.

Be Bold!

If you haven't noticed yet, ladies, men don't do "hints." I don't care if the hint is subtle or obvious, it won't work. Men are not psychic, either. If you want something, ask for it.

And if you don't know what you want... neither will he! So if you are not clear on what you want in life or in a man, it's time for some soul-searching, self-reflection, and introspection. You will never find what you want if you have no idea what you're looking for!

Then, once you know what you want... Be BOLD!

First of All...

As an introduction, this blog is my way of sharing lessons I've learned in my romantic misadventures. I do not claim to be an expert on matters of love, but I must admit that I am a romantic at heart. I believe that true love exists, but it takes work. It won't jump out and grab you while you're hailing a taxi. Real love, that love that we barely dare to admit that we want... that takes work.

And some imagination.

And that's what this blog is devoted to.

If you have a topic you'd like to hear about, or questions you'd like answered, drop me a line or post it in the comments and I'll see what I can do!

Here's to LOVE!